American scientists from the University of Ontario, who published materials in Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, argue that sexual attraction of women to a permanent partner is naturally reduced by 0.02% every month. Depending on the situation, just for 6-30 months, we are going the way from ardent passion and desire to (at best) tremulous care and custody. Moreover, certain factors may accelerate this process. What kills our sexual desire?
A large number of stressful situations (from traffic jams and meetings with a boss to childhood fears) reduce the production of testosterone – a hormone, which is directly related to sex desire. In addition, stress is accompanied by the release of adrenaline, which causes an exhausting effect. As a result, a person experiences the feeling of emotional and physical fatigue. Therefore, he only wants to sleep in bed. The best antidote to stress is sex. “The more often we have sex, the more endorphins and oxytocin – compounds associated with pleasure and sense of well-being – are released in our body “, – explains Dr. James Cohen from the University of Virginia.
2. Low self-esteem
According to Dr. Ruth Westheimer from Columbia University, “low self-esteem and negative perception of own appearance have a detrimental effect on the sexual appetite: it seems to you that you will not be able to attract a partner sexually, it reduces your interest to the process at the subconscious level”. Sexual appetites have nothing to do with the perfect body. You should love yourself and your partner will feel it and respond to you in bed.
3. Relationship problems
According to Denise Knowles, a family psychologist: “The scandals and quarrels of couples not only create temporary tensions but also give rise to a feeling of anger because such quarrels often consist of endless complaints against the opponent. And who wants to have sex with a person who accuses him of all the troubles?”. You have to talk frankly with your partner to find out what prevents harmonious relations and find a compromise.
4. Lack of sleep
According to Robert Thayer, a professor of psychology at the University of California in Long Beach: “One of the main issues that seriously affect sexual desire is insomnia. Stress caused by lack of sleep makes us insensitive to pleasant stimuli, such as lovemaking”. In addition, lack of sleep reduces the level of testosterone in the body and increases the secretion of cortisol – a hormone of anxiety. To enjoy sex, it is important to adjust the hours of sleep and wakefulness.
About 30% of people suffering from overweight (obesity) are much less likely to achieve sexual satisfaction in bed, according to experts from New York University. This is because the excessive weight is reflected on the blood vessels condition, including the genital area, which directly affects the sensitivity of genitals.
Stereotype, which has no relation to reality: alcohol makes us more liberated, most of the inhibitions and barriers disappear and, as a result, we enjoy the best sex in life. The truth is that a large amount of alcohol does not increase libido. On the contrary, alcohol reduces it by affecting the nerve endings that cause erection in men and reduce the sensitivity of the clitoris in women. Also, alcohol causes dehydration, which affects the secretion of vaginal lubrication.